Well Im not expecting anyone to still be following this, its been almost a year. A year and about 30 lbs gained.....God I feel like shit.
So In the spirit of feeling like shit. I think Ill get back to journaling. Ive lost my job, I hate my body and I think my boyfriend isn't interested in me anymore. And who could blame him with all this fat hanging around my middle.
I got a good look at what ive gained the other day and.....god it wasn't pretty. It was lumpy and horrible.
I tried barfing up what I ate for lunch and it didn't end well. I don't know if I can get into that apect of this life again....ugh the smell.
I only remember some of the rules. I only have a fraction of the will power but I cant stand the way I look anymore. I can't take the feelings of inadequacy.
I am wretched.
1 comment:
I can very much relate to this. My insides are craving to get back to my lowest weight, but my motivation and perspective have been skeewed after all that I've gone through (therapy, hospitilization, treatment, etc.)
I wouldn't necessarily reccomend getting back into the lifestyle full throttle, but if you want to lose weight than do it for you and no one else. Talk this out with your boyfriend. See how he feels.
Good luck hon. I'm still following.
~Wishbone (formerly MyNameIsMellon)
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