I wanted to give a more upbeat something for y'all......but. This morning I woke up to my friend's father screaming. LITERALLY screaming. At her. For fucking up. It was so scary I made myself go back into a coma for the rest of the day. I've left my room 3 times.
Did I mention that I have really bad anxiety, paranoia, and depression.....soooo that outburst made me feel like if I came out of my room I was going to get murdered. I had to wait for everyone to leave the house before getting up the courage to open my door. Scary
On the plus side.....I'm knitting something cute...
Lame I know.
I stuffed my face every 20 mins last night for about an hour and ended up purging pizza at the last bit. I hate pizza so much. It wasn't even tasty. I just ate it because I wanted to...all that blasted cheese. I hate that. whenever you binge nothing tastes good at all. Usually because you're not paying attention to the taste as you gobble it all down. But then I feel guilty for eating because I didn't even ENJOY what I scarffed. So bleah. No pity. One lb down on the scale, had a great hot shower with delicious minty foot scrub. Clean hair, nice beautiful rainy day and night. Happily sequestered in my room. All alone. YAY.
Have just begun discovering the advantage of knowing boys in real life and talking to them online. Because I don't have to fake a single thing. They've seen me in all my fatty glory and still want to talk to me. Crazy. I'm actually a cool person. But don't get your hopes up. This doesn't mean I'm interested in boys atm. I'm not. Every time I even think about dating I want hide under my bed lol.
Thanks for the comments girls. Trying to catch up on yours....kind of impossible....SORRY *tears*
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1 comment:
you are totally a cool person. like, a lot. i have similar things with the anxiety, especially when people are screaming/angry... mostly if they're men though... which is strange...
and i haven't sent you pics of that thing i made yet! shit! i need to do that!
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